Did you ever? #1
Have sex with a girl, then afterwards say:
“you didn’t tell me you had your period”
only to hear the reply
“I don’t”
Hurts, don’t it?
Just how stupid do you have to be…
…to fall for this?
“We helps you connect and share with people in your life”
Oh, really?
Well, me tells you to grow a fucking brain. If you are going to phish for facebook login details, it would be a good idea to AT LEAST put the facebook logo on the landing page. It kinda loses effect without it, don’t you think?
Why anyone would want to access the results to hundreds of ‘what type of vegetable are you?’ quizzes is a bit of a fucking mystery.
One for Sorrow
As I was driving home today, I happened to notice a dead magpie on the road to my house. Okay, so I didn’t stop the car to take the picture below. I stole off some other website. Anyway, you get the idea:
I’m not usually a believer in that crappy poem about magpies but, for once in my life, I see this as a bad fucking omen. I’ve been a supporter of Newcastle United ever since I was a young lad (even before they were ‘good’) and have stuck with them through thin and thinner. As a professional football club, they’re a fucking shambles, always have been. There’s been times when I wished I could strangle the board of directors, or strangle the manager, or strangle the players. Fuck it, sometimes I wanted to strangle all three groups together. Maybe I should strangle myself for choosing to support a band of underachieving losers for 20 years?
I’m convinced that the Fog on the Tyne contains harmful chemicals which cause irreversible brain damage to all those who breath it. How else can you explain the ridiculous management (at both team & board level) and crackpot behaviour which has been a constant attribute of our first team squad? It’s been a fucking team of headcases for as long as I can remember. Joey Barton, Lee Bowyer, Duncan Ferguson, Jonathan Woodgate, Alan Smith, Andy Carroll, Kieron Dyer, Craig Bellamy, Titus Bramble, Joey Barton. All of the above have been in trouble with the law at one point or another (or constantly, as in Joey Barton’s case) and I’m sure there’s loads of others I’ve forgotten about. There’s reform-school soccer teams in Tallaght with less criminal convictions than our lot.
Despite all this, I didn’t think I would ever see the day that we would actually get relegated from the Premier League. Relegation is for shit teams, like Ipswich or Derby County. But here we are, in the drop zone, a point behind Hull…Hull, for fuck sake… with only one game to go, away to Villa on Sunday. Shearer may be a toon legend but we’ve yet to see any divine intervention from the ‘Geordie Messiah’. He’d better get his fucking act together come 3pm Sunday, because we need a miracle. A fucking big one at that.