DIE, PHONE, DIE…
…YOU MOTHERFUCKIN PIECE OF SHIT!!!
*smash*
Sorry about that. Nothing in this world is as liable to drive me into a violent rage as my mobile phone. That’s the third one I’ve destroyed in such a fashion since last summer. I really shouldn’t blame the phone, it’s the cunt on the other end of the line that I’d like to smash off the wall, the infuriating prick.
I’ve had a mobile phone for as long as I can remember, in fact, I was one of those ‘yuppie bastards’ that had a mobile way back when they were the size of your average toaster. And it never really bothered me that I was contactable at any given time, most likely because people didn’t call you at strange times of the day. But in the last few years it seems that ‘office hours’ have been abolished and your colleagues/clients think they can (and should) call you whenever they fucking please. Some people have even gone as far as leaving blatently abusive comments on my voicemail simply because they can’t get in touch with me. What the fuck is with that? Since when did it become law that you must be contactable 24 hours a day, 365 days a year?
Maybe it’s just because I’ve got a shit type of job and this doesn’t happen to other people, but I don’t think so. What has happened to our society that we can’t simply finish work for the day when we leave the building? Why does some annoying asshole (usually, the boss) make ridiculous demands of me during my time off? Why can’t people just fuck off and LEAVE ME ALONE!!!*
Fuck it… my phone is in bits.
Can anyone recommend to me a good replacement?
*Not you, unless you’re my boss.
February 14th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Sony ericsson, baby! All the way.
February 14th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
Thanks Pinkie, I like the style of the Sony Ericssons but wonder how well do they withstand impact?
Was thinking a Fisher-Price phone might suit my temperament a bit better.
February 15th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Impact sustainability (new word?) is shite with the sony ericsson unfortunately. I should know. Wasn’t it Nokia that had one of those phones that you could bounce? I had one of those for years and it did bounce. Landed on the train tracks one day - had to get some young fella to hop down and grab it for me (wearing a skirt I was, ye see) - not a single scratch on the fecker.
Fisher price phones now — hrm, they are good for drooling on (see babies) but impact… I am not sure. A megaphone might do you a good service. That way if someone wants to interrupt your day off then HA - you will interrupt everyone in the intervening space.
Jaysus - it’s a bit early for this yabber. I’m off to have a fried egg. Pray I dont burn down the kitchen.
Again.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
A bouncy phone… Now there’s an idea.
Actually, fuck that. Smashing a phone is very satisfying, therapeutic even.
I think I’ll design a phone that can be broken into shite but put back together again. Could be a big seller don’t you think?
February 15th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
LEGO! A lego phone - christ you are a genius! You could call it the ‘Humpty Phone’ — No, not as in ‘humping’, as in ‘Humpty Dumpty’!
February 17th, 2008 at 3:39 am
You need a Blackberry boyo! That way you can look a la VIP important at bars, cafes, Starbucks, Dunnes Stores and the likes. It vibrates too and so doubles as a sex toy for yer missus so you can watch the footie in peace n’ quiet. Guaranteed or your money back from RIM (arseholes!)