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Big Breakfast

An elderly couple I know were looking to get a weekend away next month and since neither of them are computer literate or possess credit cards, they had asked me to find and book a two night stay (with breakfast) for them in a reasonable hotel in Wexford. I’ve been around this block a good few times and know that you can book the exact same hotel, for the exact same nights, yet get different prices on different online reservation websites. I don’t know why…

Anyway, I did a search and found that, at €128 per night, the Quality Hotel & Leisure Centre in Wexford was the cheapest by a long way. I was literally just about to click the ‘book now’ button when I happened to notice the room only rate: €71 per night.

I’m not much of a mathemetician, but it would appear that the privilige of eating their two breakfasts in this hotel will set this couple back a staggering €114, or €28.50 per breakfast. I can only imagine that this must be one of the finest breakfasts to be found in the country, a veritable early morning feast. Surely the sausages must be hand-made in their own kitchen by Nevin Maguire, the rashers carefully sliced from the rump of prize-winning pigs, the mushrooms and tomatoes picked from the Garden of Eden itself and the coffee beans brought directly from Colombia in a private jet flown by that smug bitch in the Kenco ads? The reality, I’d say, is that you’d get as good a breakfast, wrapped in a baguette, down at the local garage. Needless to say, that’s exactly what they’ll be doing.

We all know that Ireland is the land of the rip-offs, but this takes the fucking biscuit.