I Will Resign
First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking Mahon would find out
About my takings on the side
And I spent so many nights
Thinking how I got it wrong
But I grew strong
When I learned how to play along
But then the banks
Those fecking gays
They went and showed the jaysis court
That I got cash from the UK
I shouldn’t have lodged that bloody sterling
I could’ve spent it on me holidays
If I had known for just one second
All the questions it would raise
So off I go, I’ll walk out the door
I’ll go to ground now
‘Cause I’m not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the ones who said it’s time to say goodbye?
Health service crumbled
Property market died
Oh no! Now I
I will resign
Now the shit has hit the fan
And the country’s in decline
I’ve done my share of theft
And no credibility left
So I’ll resign
I will resign
It took all the guile I had
To look the injured part
Keep trying to pretend
The public broke my heart
And I spend oh so many nights
Just looking sorry for myself
But I’m good at lyin’
Inside I’m laughing all the time
And you’ll soon see me
Somebody new
I’ll get my government pension
Hey I’m not done with screwing you
I know how to milk the state
I learned all yer tricks, Haughey
Now I’m saving all my backhanders
For an island off Kerry
Ho ho! Now I
I will resign
And I’ll get three hundred grand
Instead of doing any time
I’ve got an easy life to live
Two fucks I couldn’t give
About your cryin’
When I resign…
AVAILABLE IN ALL GOOD RECORD STORES NOW!
April 2nd, 2008 at 11:51 pm
[…] Shitetalker […]
April 2nd, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Brilliant!
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:39 am
I bow before thee.
Genius!
April 3rd, 2008 at 7:28 am
Brilliant. Feckin Brilliant.
April 3rd, 2008 at 8:51 am
Classic!!
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:35 am
Nice.
April 3rd, 2008 at 11:31 am
Kudos
April 3rd, 2008 at 11:45 am
MAN, Brilliant,
I kneel before thee in admiration, adoration, veneration and genuflection,
Ignoring constipation, my libations, titillation and stagnation.
April 3rd, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Thanks all!
Now if only I could sing…
April 3rd, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Quality, Infactah, it’s brilliant!
April 4th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Excellent and funny but Unfortuately so TRUE!!
April 5th, 2008 at 4:20 am
Simply brilliant!
I wish I cud sing it in Indian Parliament for a few!
April 5th, 2008 at 10:40 am
Oh no Oh no !
That isn’t so !
’cause I’ve got all my sweet bets made
with Brian Cowen I’ll double trade,
I’ll have all there is to have
Just like Haughey ,I’ll be’ sad’
But I’ll be strong
and linger on….
hey …..hey….
I’ll find a way..
If there’s money to be found
I’ll invest it as a pound..
I ‘ve got contacts in the Dáil
my brothers there can take the fall
I will survive,
hell I will thrive !! yeah yeah …..(.fade out…
April 5th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Fucking legend. I have sung this to people all around the world and there was much smiling and laughter.
Class!
April 6th, 2008 at 11:43 am
oh god that is the funniest thing i’ve read in years!
genius work!
April 9th, 2008 at 9:13 am
This is brilliant i had a great laugh we should send a copy onto the Dail
April 9th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
It funny you should say that, I’ve been checking to see where my visitors are coming from and have had 15 separate visits to this page from people on the government’s virtual private network. Probably just a couple of slack civil servants, but you never know…maybe Cowen’s been humming it to himself in the last few days?
April 9th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Ah ladds, giz a break.
April 18th, 2008 at 9:40 am
Fantastic!
April 19th, 2008 at 5:05 am
How about using your lyrical skills to adapt this song for BIFFO Cowen:
http://www.geocities.com/faithfulcounty/rover.html
A great job on the Bertie version, much respect!