It’s now been two months since I started back in college and all is going well. I like my course, I’m good at (most) of my subjects and I’m also making some new friends. It’s been pretty good so far.

There is one thing about college life, however, that has been getting right on my tits.

It’s not the timetable…

or the travelling…

or the poverty…

or even the shitty second rate slime that they call coffee.

It’s the constant,

unavoidable,

grating-on-my-fucking-nerves,

stupid american accent that half of the student body (primarily the female half) seems to have picked up. All I hear all fucking day is “she’s, you know, like, a stoopid ho anyway…” or “I’m like, soooooo over him!” and of course let’s not forget the ever-unpopular “Oh…my…god… I want one, like, right now!“. It’s driving me absolutely fucking crazy. I must confess, I’m not a big fan of loud-mouthed cunts, but at least have the decency to be a loud-mouthed cunt in YOUR OWN FUCKING ACCENT. Irish girls don’t say ho, they say tramp, you fucking tramps. Stupid isn’t pronounced stooopid, it’s pronounced stew-pid, you stew-pid cunts. And next time I hear you say “Oh…my…god… I want one, like, right now!“, you will fucking get one, trust me.

That time-honoured american pastime of shooting up the school is starting to make a awful lot of sense.

1. 
   Maxi Cane said...
   2:03 am - November 21st, 2008

   Like, totally.

   “I was on the Jerry Lee the other day and this total scobe got on and started to like stare at me and I just couldn’t focus on my Blackberry properly, y’know? BTW, did you know you can get them in pink now? I’m totally getting one, I told my mother to get me one. I was like, “Mom, you better get me one or I will like totally spaz out.” She was like shocked and I was just like, LOL.”

   Fuck. Right. Off.

2. 
   H said...
   1:51 am - November 22nd, 2008

   LOOOOOOOL :)
   That was like, sooooo funny what you just said! :)
   MY GOD, I like, almost peed in my panties! :)

3. 
   Baino said...
   8:48 am - November 29th, 2008

   Erm you at UCD by any chance? Have a mate there who is similarly like . . . well . . so . . . totally over it!

   Slipped over from Thrifty’s for a look-see.

4. 
   H said...
   9:09 pm - November 29th, 2008

   That’s the worrying thing Baino. It’s not UCD. I’d have expected this type of crap if I was enrolled there.

   Whatever fucking disease these kids have, it must be spreading…