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Get a fucking grip

It’s now been two months since I started back in college and all is going well. I like my course, I’m good at (most) of my subjects and I’m also making some new friends. It’s been pretty good so far.

There is one thing about college life, however, that has been getting right on my tits.

It’s not the timetable…

or the travelling…

or the poverty…

or even the shitty second rate slime that they call coffee.

It’s the constant,

unavoidable,

grating-on-my-fucking-nerves,

stupid american accent that half of the student body (primarily the female half) seems to have picked up. All I hear all fucking day is “she’s, you know, like, a stoopid ho anyway…” or “I’m like, soooooo over him!” and of course let’s not forget the ever-unpopular “Oh…my…god… I want one, like, right now!“. It’s driving me absolutely fucking crazy. I must confess, I’m not a big fan of loud-mouthed cunts, but at least have the decency to be a loud-mouthed cunt in YOUR OWN FUCKING ACCENT. Irish girls don’t say ho, they say tramp, you fucking tramps. Stupid isn’t pronounced stooopid, it’s pronounced stew-pid, you stew-pid cunts. And next time I hear you say “Oh…my…god… I want one, like, right now!“, you will fucking get one, trust me.

That time-honoured american pastime of shooting up the school is starting to make a awful lot of sense.