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Action Plan #1

With all the talk of our growing dole queues and crumbling economy that I’ve been hearing in the news lately, I thought that it would be interesting to conduct a little experiment. So I went to Monster.ie and searched through their database to see just how many jobs were out there for someone with qualifications in what would be regarded as highly-skilled industries. The results were rather surprising:

Over 1000 jobs were posted within the last seven days.*

That’s right, 1000 jobs… and that was only within a sample of 20 industry categories. I’d say it’s fair to assume that most of these jobs are still available, seeing as they were all posted within the last week. So why, with over 300,000 unemployed people out there, can these companies not find the right people to work for them? The answer is quite simple really… tens of thousands, of highly-skilled Irish people are living, and working, abroad. There all in Forin Cuntrys, Mr. Cowen! Well, why did they leave? Would it have something to do with the cost of living in Ireland, perhaps?

Now, I’m no economist, but in these harsh financial times does it not make sense to get as many people as possible into whatever jobs are available as QUICKLY AS FUCKING POSSIBLE? Yes, I thought so too. So I came up with a clever little plan:

Um…Repatriate the highly-skilled Irish workers living abroad. Bingo! We get Irish companies working at full capacity again and we get tax money from people in (mostly) high paid jobs. No, no… wait. That’s too flimsy. We have to try and remember why these people chose to live abroad… Oh yeah! The ridiculously high cost of living! Ok, so let’s elaborate on this plan:

Anglo Irish Bank gave out lots of loans to developers, right? Many of these developers are still heavily in debt to the bank, correct? Many of the developers who are heavily in debt have unsold housing stock, yes? Anglo Irish Bank was nationalised recently, am I right? WELL… why don’t we try to coax our highly-skilled Irish expats back home, with a scheme that allows them to buy or rent these empty houses at a knock down, recession-busting price? This way, the government can write off some (or all) of the debt that the developers in question owe to Anglo Irish and 1000+ extra people are filling vacant jobs. These 1000 extra workers would be paying taxes and buying goods & services which, in turn, helps keep other people in jobs. What’s more, this plan would also see some of our excess housing stock taken off the market which may help in stabilising property prices.  Well, it can’t fucking hurt…

So there Mr. Cowen, there’s a ready made plan of action for you. Isn’t it great that you and your imbecile governmentalists didn’t even have to hurt your little brains by trying to come up with one yourselves? Consider it a ‘Creative Commons’ economic plan. You are free to use and modify it so long as you acknowledge the original author, i.e. Me. A word of warning, though: When you resort to getting your ideas from a website, which is written by a man who openly calls himself a ‘Shitetalker’, you can probably start counting your days left in Government on one of your fat-fingered hands.

*1046 Irish jobs posted since 26/02/09, spanning 20 industrial categories including (but not limited to): IT, engineering, biotechnology, telecommunications, architecture, healthcare, financial services, legal services and electronics.