Just when you thought the government had run out of ridiculous ideas to waste our tax money, along comes education minister Mary Hanafin and the shit-for-brains plan to give books to all newborn babies.  Apparently, the idea is to encourage reading from an early age, thus combatting illiteracy and other reading problems in later life.

Does minister Hanafin realise that newborn children will not, no matter how fucking hard you try to teach them, be able to read until they are, at the very least, 2 years old? Perhaps she thinks these books will survive two years of being torn, scribbled on and chewed so that they may be read by the children at a later stage? Does she not realise that the illiteracy problem lies with the fact that many parents do not (or cannot) read to their children and no amount of free books is going to change this? What kind of retard comes up with these ideas in the first place?

So there we have it, another day, another blatant waste of already sparse resources. More of our money slips down the tubes whilst some well-connected publisher pockets a handy fucking contract. God I love this government.

Not.

I’ve been fairly lazy this week, partly due to the Paddy’s Day hangover, partly due to the fact that my laptop is still fucked, but mostly because I’ve been fairly fucking depressed. The God of misfortune has been pissing all over me this week, with large bills (both expected and unexpected) coming thick and fast at a time when I’ve already got fuck all cash. On top of all these, we’ve got a wedding to go to next weekend (I’m one of the groomsmen) so that’ll be another €500-600 down the shitter. Then on Thursday, just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, my car decided to commit suicide.

So I’ve spent much of this week drinking and gambling to take my mind off the question “how the fuck am I gonna pay for all this???”. I can’t say getting drunk helped much and the gambling certainly didn’t improve my financial situation! But thankfully, I emerged from my shell this morning, in the realisation that these things aren’t going to go away by themselves, and miraculously solved all my short-term financial worries in one go - god bless credit cards!

Expect a similar post in about a months’ time…

…and I can’t remember where the fuck any of them are supposed to go.

Posting is gonna be pretty slow until I figure this one out.

SO… another day, another braindead suggestion by an Irish politician. Senator Donie Cassidy thinks that it’s time we abandoned the whole driving on the left lark and start driving on the right for a change. On the face of it (ie. before the brain kicks in some 3 seconds later) this doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. After all, the only places in the world that still drive on the left (with the exception on Japan) are the old British colonies, and we don’t want to be associated with them anymore do we?

*thinking*

3…

2…

1…

At this point, anyone with even the slightest shred of intelligence will have copped on that Donie Cassidy’s “suggestion” will not only require an enormous re-education program for the existing drivers in Ireland who, incidentally, have enough fucking trouble driving properly as it is, but will also mean the replacement of close to 1 million right-hand-drive vehicles and the re-marking of every junction in the country. Not to mention the fact that some existing junctions would be unworkable if driving on the right and every street sign would have to be moved to the opposite side of the road. Then someone will have to figure out a new one-way system for Dublin City centre, assuming they can even figure out the bollocks of a system that’s currently in place.

Wouldn’t it be fun if someone told Donie that it was an “excellent idea, we’re changing over next monday” and watch in wonder as he drives headlong into a stream of traffic on his way to work, blowing the horn and cursing at the non-compliant road users before ploughing into a articulated lorry at 100km an hour?

Now that would be worth watching. Heh heh heh.

Christmas parties suck.