…I see that Hasbro have set up a website so that people may vote for their favourite cities to appear on the new World Edition of Monopoly. Normally I wouldn’t be at all arsed with this sort of shit, but I actually happen to like Monopoly and it’ll be some load of bollocks if the French fucks get the two best spots on the board (Paris is currently #1, Montreal is #2).

So despite the fact that our Capital is riddled with kippy suburbs on one side, plagued by upper crust fuckwits on the other and has more immigrants than you can shake a stick at in the middle, I’ve (grudgingly) given the Dubs my vote. As it currently stands, Dublin has 2.1% of the vote and is placed in one of those shitty light blue spaces; Ironically, these spaces have the cheapest houses/hotels in the board game.

So come on people, get yer votes in. We could probably all do with seeing Ireland beat the French at something, even if it is only a shitty boardgame.

Ok, so it’s been over a month since I lasted posted anything, that’s fairly fucking lazy by anyone’s standards. But there are some legitimate reasons as to why I’ve been so negligent:

Firstly, it was Christmas. That’s a pretty good excuse for doing fuck all. Then came New Year’s, another good excuse for not working. Also, I was pretty drunk for the month of January (yes, the whole fucking month, what’s it to ya?) and lastly, I was recently abducted by aliens. More about that to follow…

But now that I’ve put all that crazy shit behind me, I’ve decided to return to the world of blogging. Expect some more shitetalkin’ soon…

Each year, in the run up to Christmas, you always hear about that one present that every child wants but no parent can get their hands on. This year it’s the Nintendo Wii. So far, I’ve heard stories of people queueing for hours only to be told there’s none left, people buying them online for nearly double the price and, strangely, I know of a man that robbed a Wii from someone’s unlocked car, but then left €300 in their glove box to pay for it. Gobshite.

In light of all this desperation, you can imagine how hard I laughed this afternoon when I received a ‘corporate gift’ from one of my suppliers in work and opened it to find…A Nintendo Wii! Hooray!

I must admit, the laugh I laughed was an evil sort of belly-laugh; an acknowledgement that I, and not some snot-nosed little shit, will be swinging a shiny white rod around my sitting room on Christmas morning (Christ, that doesn’t sound right). Laughing. Ha ha ha!

Up yours kids! This is gonna be a Merry fucking Christmas indeed.

After exhaustive testing, I think I’m happy enough that my site is working OK…

So hello and welcome to my site. Before we begin I’ve got a few questions for you; this is more important than you might think:

Q1. What’s your favourite drink?

Q2. Your favourite band?

Q3. Your favourite meal?

Q4. Are you male or female?

Thank you for participating in my little ’survey’. I hope you enjoy the site.

H

**Please note: this information will under no circumstances be used for profiling potential victims dates, as I am not nearly clever enough to trace IP addresses and correlate the results with other IP traces on popular social networking sites such as Bebo, MySpace and Facebook. The information contained within these sites will not be then used to track down your location, either through your own profile or one of your friends (someone’s always dumb enough to give their real name and address). I will not then stalk such person(s) , approach them some night in a bar and impress them by buying them their favourite drink, then talking about how much I love their favourite band and then offering to buy them their favourite meal. Like I said, I’m not that clever. Or that fucking desperate.

This is yet another test. Check out the video, classic memories. It makes me sad to think that it’s gonna be a long, long time before we see this kind of shit happen again.

H

Ooh!

Another test post!

With an image this time!

How very clever!

I’m think I’m getting the hang of this shit…

H

Some people are probably gonna be browsing through the archive, curious to see what I said in my very first post…

This is it. It’s just a test post (the hint was in the title). Sorry to disappoint you.

Well, actually, I couldn’t fucking care less! I just hope for my sake it gets better than this!

H